This is not an academic history, not a collection of facts and documents, but it is the living testimony of an ordinary participant in the events.
We are publishing the conclusion of a long conversation with humanitarian worker S. from the Lugansk People’s Republic. In the first part, we introduced the reader to her story about the life of ordinary people in the former Lugansk Region before the Maidan, during the 2014 coup d’état, and in the period between the beginning of the conflict in Donbass and Russia’s Special Military Operation.
The second part of the conversation is dedicated to the events of the special military operation, in which our interviewee found herself participating. The story is about visiting Mariupol soon after the end of the fighting there and about what it’s like to be the wife of a frontline soldier, as well as about S.’s personal experience providing assistance to military hospitals.
Read the continuation of an honest, serious conversation with an eyewitness about the contemporary events that began in issue 639 of The Essence of Time newspaper.
— So, you said, “We all also thought it would be a week, two, a month at most.” Tell me, you were in the liberated territories, right?
— I was in Mariupol.
— Tell me about that trip. You were there right after the fighting ended, weren’t you?
— Yes, first my friend went to see her relatives. She came back, she brought food to her relatives. She said it was a nightmare there.
— Was the city really all destroyed, or was that just a picture on the internet?
— The city consists of four districts, it depends on which district, where and how the combats took place. There are more or less intact districts, and there are heavily destroyed ones. We collected aid then, raised money, bought food, put together packages, and went. The first impression upon entering Mariupol was that the whole city showed abandoned trenches. And a stench, it just reeked terribly of corpses. At the entrance to the city from our side, we saw destroyed houses, burned-out high-rises. Further on, there were also intact houses in other districts. The market was working by that time. The single-family homes neighborhoods were also more or less intact. Quite many people remained there.
Now, of course, the city is blooming and developing, people have been returning. My first thought was to talk to people, to find out the truth. I started asking questions to find out how things were. We were at school No. 57, of which only ruins were left, but nevertheless, we had the sense to crawl through the floors. Local guys took us around, they knew where everything had already been cleared of explosive devices. They showed us where the Ukrainian militants placed mortar positions, told us how they used civilians as human shields. The young man who was guiding us said, “Azov (organization banned in Russia) came into our house, they threw us into the basement, locked us in, and sometimes threw us MREs — that’s how we survived.” He said they sat there, until the servicemen of the Akhmat unit [Chechnya-based detachments of the National Guard of Russia] came. He said he still has an Azov* (organization banned in Russia) flag on the floor and he and his family wipe our feet on it. And people everywhere tell such stories. If someone went for water, they just shot him. That’s what was happening.
— So they were like hostages, the whole city was held hostage.
— Yes. When we entered the destroyed school, all the children’s documents are lying around, various other things — I photographed all of it. The Azov* (an organization banned in the Russian Federation) emblem was on the school gates. That’s the first thing that caught my eye. I thought, “Oh my…” We went further, wandering through the school. There are books from the first grade, books about gays, about tolerance. That is, a first-grade textbook Bases of Tolerance or something like that. There were comics where the main enemy is the Russian soldier. And all this was printed in 2015, and some of them even earlier. And Mariupol is a Russian city, everyone always spoke Russian there. It’s a port city, we always went to the sea through Mariupol, transferred there and went along the shores of the Sea of Azov. There was never anything like that there. And when I see this with my own eyes — here it is, this is what they teach children. How dare they?
Further, we went into the principal’s office, there were documents from Oleg Lyashko’s Radical Party. To be fair, it must be said that there are also many pro-Ukrainian people there, in Mariupol. “Everything will be Ukraine,” “Glory to Ukraine” — all that.
— So when you arrived there, there were such people too?
— Yes. My mom says to me, “You keep quiet about where we’re from.” And I, “Why should I be quiet, did I btought the war? No, I brought people aid. I came to collect homeless animals. Why should I be quiet about where I’m from? I won’t be quiet.” Well, everything went fine, we calmly carried out our mission and went home. But there are still many people supportive for Ukraine. Well, but are there few of us who support Russia?
— What about people from the liberated territories of the LPR: Severodonetsk, Lisichansk — do you know anything about them? In K., I know, refugees from territories where active hostilities took place are housed. What are their sentiments?
— Our refugees are normal. Although, they say, when they hit our plant with a Tochka-U, when one of the districts burned down, refugees were dancing, shouting “Glory to Ukraine” there. They were housed in a kindergarten. But those I visited, they are absolutely normal. These are mostly people from Popasnaya. They live here now, are happy with what they have. Alive, and thank God. They gave people housing here, gave them work, so the authorities handled it normally. Well, otherwise… Of course, it’s a pity. Lisichansk was a beautiful city, Severodonetsk too. I had a small country cottage there once, I don’t know if it still exists or not. There are cool lakes nearby, we used to go there to have a rest before the war.
— What do you know about the retreat of our troops from the Kharkov Region?
— That’s a very painful topic for me. My husband joined the army as a volunteer, it also happened spontaneously. We had an argument over that because he wanted to participate in all this again, and I had just given birth. He went to get enlisted, they promised him a good spot. They told him to gather his documents, go through screenings and tests, and then someone will take you. And we were sitting at home, it was already night, they call him, “Be ready to leave for Mariupol tomorrow.” And Mariupol was already liberated, this was in the summer. I think, “What does Mariupol have to do with it?..” In the morning they pick him up, I saw him off at the bus station. A group of military guys are standing there, loading into a Ural. I say, “Is that probably for you?” He answered, “I don’t know…” He called on the phone, they answered that was not for him. And then half an hour later a black Nissan arrives, picks him up alone. What, why, how? He managed to send me a text, where he would be deployed, just in case, where to look for him. I read it and immediately deleted it. Then he wrote to me online from a different account, “We are in Izyum.” Well, in Izyum, so in Izyum. Izyum was under our control then, everything was fine.
Everyone probably followed the news. They said the Ukrainian militants would go on the offensive, but ours didn’t believe it. Krasny Liman, Kupyansk — in that direction. And my husband found himself in the whirlwind of these events. And I remember another call from him online, when they had already left Balakleya. He said, “The Ukrainian militants advancing intensively, ours didn’t expect this, but we definitely won’t give up Izyum.” And then the whirlwind with this Izyum begins. I’m sitting, biting my nails, no connection, can’t find out anything, a small child. I’m constantly online, and there I got in contact with a guy, and he was also in Kharkov Region. And he had just arrived, his unit had just been formed. They were taken to positions and left, he and another guy, they were snipers. And he was texting with me right from there. I ask, “How do you have internet?” He said, “In Belgorod, blocked Ukrainian SIM cards are sold on every corner, which have internet.” That is, it connected to Ukrainian internet, but there was no mobile service.
In the morning he got in touch, wrote, “I’m alone.” I asked, “What do you mean?” “Our second guy was killed, eliminated.” He says: “I have the radio, it is silent, and the station was with him.” I, he says, can already see the Ukrainian militants in my telescopic sight. And how? And the guy is twenty years old! What is twenty years? I asked, “How are you going to get away?” He said, “Well, as long as I lie here, they can’t see me.” He lay there until nightfall, the radio was silent, no one came for him. And at night he went on foot and reached… Our guys picked him up on the road. That’s how it was.
And then they write, I think I read it on Poddubny’s blog [Russian war correspondent], that by morning there would be very good news about Izyum, the Ukrainians would really not like it. Well, phew, so Izyum did not fall. I called my husband’s commander, asked, “Is everything okay with our guys now?” “Yes, everything is okay with us.” “Is everyone alive?” — “Yes, everyone is alive.”
Around four in the morning a call from my husband. I said, “How did you get a signal, where are you?” He said, “We were near Svatovo, in the forest. We barely got out.” “What do you mean, barely got out? You said you wouldn’t give up Izyum?” But it turned out differently. Then they were in Kupyansk, it was exactly the same with Kupyansk. No one told them they were surrounded, we, he says, left urgently, on armor vehicles, because we saw Ukrainian tanks through binoculars.
When they retreated to Kremennaya, we here in K. started to get scared, if they gave up everything so easily up to Kremennaya, and it’s only 120 kilometers from Kremennaya to us. Well, they are holding Kremennaya.
— Do you have many acquaintances among those who are fighting now?
— Many. And many are already in their graves.
— They fell on the battlefield now, during the special military operation?
— During the special military operation, yes, they were killed. Only one of my comrades survived, he ran away. They let him go, he was in Tserkuny in Kharkov Region, he also told many terrible stories. Tserkuny was an prestigious residential area. That’s where they deployed our mobilized guys. And he says that the Ukrainian militants there just spared them. That is, the Ukrainian militants knew perfectly well in which basement they were hiding, where they were sitting. They could easily hit it and kill everyone. But they just hit nearby. A tank would come out, fire a few rounds, and that’s it. There were no direct hits. They hit nearby, but not there. And my friend, he has one eye misaligned, they promised to take him off the register — that’s it, go through screenings and tests, to be demobilized. But he didn’t have time, they called him and send him to the front. And he ran away. So one remained alive. And all the other friends… My first friend died on the day I gave birth to my little one. His wife called me, in tears, said that Maks was dead. Then she called back, she said that she was not sure because he was listed as missing in action. He died on March 31st, and they found him on April 26th. Him and other guys. Lyoshka died on April 30th, Vanka died on April 12th.
— Are these all your classmates, friends?
— These are my friends, yes. This includes those who fought in 2014. Yes, yes, no one is left. And with Maks it also happened that we met…
— So who is fighting now, who is left?
— Well, who is left… Mostly it’s all newcomers now. Volunteers or mobilized Russians. That’s how it is. The Ukrainians were trained, and ours — what were they doing? My husband, while he was in the army, before he left to work in Moscow, used to tell me. Well, they took them to a little training ground, they ran around there with wooden guns. From ’16 to ’18 they fired weapons at the training ground once. They went to some facilities to mow grass, with shovels and hoes. That is, the Ukrainians were trained by NATO instructors, and ours just slacked off. Well, and then as a consequence, so many killed soldiers.
I’m saying, my father, sometimes his car would break down, so he’d call Lyoshka and he would come, tow the car, help with something. We even met Yura [a member of the Moscow branch of the RVS [All-Russian Parents’ Resistance], who did much work to help the Lugansk and Donetsk People’s Republics, now deceased — author’s note] with Lyoshka when Yura and Marina came with animal feed.
And now you drive through those territories where we used to ride around together, you just want to cry. Damn, all the guys are in coffins. For what, because of what? And Lyoshka, what a guy he was! He got citizenship, he was in Novopskov, and he got citizenship through his brother from Belgorod, but he worked in Novopskov. So he had dual citizenship, and no one knew about it. And when they took Lyosha, he could have gotten out of it, because he’s a Russian citizen, no, he didn’t. That’s how it was.
— Terrible… Didn’t expect to hear that, to be honest.
— It’s terrible for me too, when I remember all this, the year 2014, all our movement and actions. We called it “South-East Raccoons.” Lyosha told me who he talked went there, who went where, says — “everyone remembers you, everyone sends their regards.” And now there is no Lyosha. Just gone… So much with Lyosha… And how we watched as Ukrainian fighters shot down the “Boeing” — that happened too.
— Wait, what do you mean “watched” — saw it with your own eyes?
— Of course!
— That very Boeing, the Malaysian one?
(cc) Jeroen Akkermans
— Yes, yes, the Malaysian Boeing. It was shot down here, nearby. We went there to relax at the Grabovskoye reservoir. We were in Knyaginovka, there’s a hill, a cliff. We were sitting on this cliff, we heard a fighter jet humming, something black is flying, Ukrainian fighters, they were black, you could tell immediately. There were no our fighters at all back then. And a civilian plane was flying. And then it just “popped” at the civilian plane, and that was it, and it started. At first they said our guys shot down a Ukrainian heavy plane that was carrying equipment. Then it became known that it was a Boeing. Ours immediately denied it, said it was the Ukrainians. But it was the Ukrainians, because I saw it with my own eyes. Lyosha called me then, like “here, ours shot down a plane.” Then he calls, says, “Did you hear that they shot down a Boeing there, not a heavy one.” I say, “Well, yes. So was it ours or not?” “No,” he says, “not ours. We heard it with you, saw it, a black plane was flying.” That’s how it was.
— Are you interacting with the troops in some way now?
— Well, I help with humanitarian aid.
— What is your impression of them, how are the guys there, what’s the spirit like, what’s the situation, what are they feeling?
— Well, everyone believes in victory. It’s understandable, of course, that victory will be…
— So the morale is there, right? There’s no feeling of being tired, not understanding, what’s this all for, where is this going? They tore people out of their families — I’m talking about the mobilized.
— No, no, there’s none of that. About “tore people out of their families”, the relatives of those who were “torn out” talk about that more. When my husband decided to join the special military operation, I was against it, we almost got divorced. I said, “What the hell do I need this for, I’ll be sitting here with the child worrying about you, and you’ll be crawling around there — for all this”? Putin promised much — benefits, and everything else. He went anyway. But there was pride, because yes, he went himself. Some hid in basements on purpose so as not to be mobilized, but this one went himself.
— And where is he fighting now, if it’s not a secret?
— At the moment he is participating in the combats near Ugledar. Right in the battles, fighting. It’s scary. I can’t say anything, it’s scary. Probably, you never get used to this. So he writes: “We’re moving out.” That’s it, you are on pins and needles. Will he get in touch, won’t he… Thank God they have internet and thank God I interact well with his commander. So if I’m really worried, I write to his commander, “Phil, is everything okay with our guys?”
— Yes, everything is okay with our guys.
— No two-hundreds [killed]?
— No two-hundreds.
That’s it. I don’t ask more, I wait calmly for contact. But someone doesn’t have that opportunity at all, just sits on pins and needles. Guys are dying.
Also, many people die because of their own stupidity, dumbness. An acquaintance of mine, her husband died. He died like this: they were brought to Seversk, thrown into a trench and told “sit here, don’t stick your head out at all from there,” and he just went and climbed out of the trench to smoke — and he was immediately… A shell came in, and a fragment hit him in the head, that’s it. My husband’s father died liberating Krasny Liman. And when they retreated from Krasny Liman, I said, “What did your father die for? What for?” Just — how many guys were left lying there, who still haven’t been picked up? How many? And what did they die for, so that someone could put money in their pocket and not give a damn that they are a commander, that they are responsible for human lives. They didn’t give ammunition, didn’t give equipment… Well, how?
— Tell me about your hospital, the one located in the city. You help it, don’t you?
— Yes, of course. I was talking to the commander once, I said, “Whose are you guys?” This was just after they were brought here. He said, “We’re from different parts. There are Wagner guys, and Russia, and LPR, DPR — everyone.” That’s how it is, they bring all the wounded here. First to Lugansk, and then those who are mobile, transportable, they are brought here. Here they are nursed back to health and then taken back to combat. Some are sent to Russia. Actually, I feel sorry for the guys, I remember when they were first brought here, and we went there… One guy came up to the car, last name Sikorsky, I said, “What’s your name at least?” He said, “No need, the last name will be enough.” And he asked my mom to bring a priest or a pastor to them at the hospital. Well, mom said, “No problem, we’ll bring one.”
Well and we went, brought them medicines, bandages, carried water every day, because the water doesn’t pump there, in that hospital. Then there were escaped convicts, and they stopped letting anyone in to see them. And this time, when the hospital was organized right near me, and I went, I go in there, a girl let me in, and I see — that guy, Sikorsky, is lying right in the corridor on a stretcher, and he greets me, so he recognizes me too. He’s without legs now. I cried bitterly at home, just bitterly.
So, I say to him, on one hand it’s bad, but on the other hand — the war is over for you, that’s it, no legs. They should still give payments for wounds. I think, they’ll fit you with prosthetics, the war is over for you. And I myself have these thoughts: “How many of them were brought here, and they took away others who were limping right in front of me, by bus, back to combat? How many of them are left there? They are people.”
— What do you mean “limping” — in the sense that they recovered a bit, and they’re sent back to the front, right?
— Yes. Yesterday we were at the hospital, brought aid, what I bought, with the money Vladimir sent, other people also sent money, I did the shopping. Well, so I brought it. Yesterday we brought another batch, I see there are legless ones. It’s good that our city has stepped up, helps. That is, they were brought naked, barefoot. The city really stepped up, people brought, and brought, and brought, everyone brought aid.
The conversation took place on April 9, 2023.
This is a translation of the interview first published in The Essence of Time newspaper, issue 642.
